Post #12 - From Two to Three

                                         

I can’t believe it has been a little over 7 months since our last post back in February. A LOT has come about since then. I have been meaning to sit down to share with you all but it's been hard to find the time these days. Since Cade turned 6 months old yesterday, I felt it was the perfect day to get back on. 

Before I begin, I just quickly wanted to say a huge THANK YOU again to everyone involved in this story, to everyone who supported us, and to everyone who contributed to the costs. By your sacrifice, you helped bring this precious little boy to our family and I will be forever grateful. 

Okay, so we left off on our last post back on Feb 21st where I let you all know that we were fully funded and moving onto the next stage of being entered into the matchbook. Being in the matchbook meant that the pregnancy clients were able to view our profile and consider us as an adoptive family. Prior to this, we were not “eligible” or “viewable” to the expectant mothers. 

I went back to look at the exact dates - we started funding Jan 6th and were funded Feb 15th. I did the math, well, I actually let google do the math, and you wouldn’t believe it. That is a total of 40 days. Not only is that a ridiculously short time to raise 24,500+ dollars it also has huge spiritual significance. 

→ In the Bible 40 days is a frequent number and often refers to times of preparation, renewal, testing, and growth.  Here are some examples of the number 40 used in the bible.

• Israelites spent 40 years in the wilderness 

• Moses spent spent 40 days and nights on Mount Sinai receiving the Ten Commandments

• Jesus spent 40 days fasting 

• Noah and his family experience 40 days/nights of rain in the flood 

• Elijah traveled 40 days/nights to Mount Horeb 

• Jesus ascended to Heaven 40 days after his resurrection 

→ plus I find it interesting that the typical gestation period of a pregnancy is 40 weeks 😀

 

Next in the timeline....

After being funded and placed in the matchbook, we were now waiting to be “matched”. We were told from the agency this waiting time could vary greatly and to prepare for about a year or more. But God had other plans. Only 12 days after being placed into the matchbook, we got a call that an expectant mother had picked us and wanted to meet us. 

I got the call while I was working with a client so I called back right away and they said “are you and Cody together?”. Cody was working at Sprouts (local grocery store) at the time, so I drove over so he could take a break and call back together. Both our adoption specialist and the pregnancy counselor were on the line. They were so excited to tell us we had been picked by a woman who was 37 weeks along with a boy. We were told we were the only couple she wanted to meet. We scheduled a time to meet the following week. We got very little information at the time of the call. Just the gender, the gestational age, the parents first names, their age, and very brief insight on why they chose adoption. 

That day holds such a special place in my heart that I will never forget. To make it even sweeter, earlier that day we picked up our custom made t-shirts. Remember the ones I mentioned back in post #11….the back said “Good things are coming” and surely they were!  We just didn’t know how good! 

Let me rewind a minute and repeat that we were only in the matchbook for 12 days! Even the agency was blown away by that. They said “you won the shortest wait time so far in the history of their agency”. Cody’s response was “Cool! Is there a prize for that?”. Our specialist responded with a chuckle, “Yes! A baby!”. 

Seeing God weave many details along the way, I had a sneaky suspicion that the number 12 was important. So I figured I should google “significance of the number 12 in the bible”. This is literally what came up on google “It represents perfection, authority, and completeness, often signaling the foundation of God's divine order”. I still can’t get over how amazing that is! I 100% believe that to be true and not a coincidence at all that it “just happened" to be 12 days.   

The following week...

We met with birth mom, she was now 38 weeks along. We met at the agency with our adoption specialist also present. It was a super quick meeting to briefly introduce ourselves to one another. I would say it went as well as can be. I think for anyone it would be a little awkward. But the conversation flowed nicely and there were no red flags. We learned that she picked us because “she liked our vibe” from our profile. She wanted to pick a younger couple who was not able to achieve a pregnancy and wanted to pick a couple that didn’t have kids yet. 

Each party had 24 hours to think and pray about it before making a final decision. The following day the pregnancy counselor (Katie) called to get our answer. There was no reason for us to say no, so we nervously yet with excitement said “yes, we will accept the match!”, and she responded with “great, the birth mom would also like to go forward with a match”. So from there we stayed in touch with Katie in regards to the birth moms follow ups with her doctor and any info on labor/delivery as they were expecting her to go into labor any day. 

After that official decision to say yes, I went non-stop on preparing the house, and ourselves for a newborn. From getting the nursery painted and set up, buying all sorts of things from facebook marketplace, to deep cleaning the house, to organizing his dresser, to staying up late googling car seats, researching different formulas, making a baby registry, and coming up with boy names we both agreed on.  All while continuing to work and expecting a phone call any day that she either had the baby and he was ready for us, or that she is checked into the hospital. We had to be ready for any circumstance. Thirty eight weeks turned to 39, then 40, and then 41. I was surprised that we didn’t get much info during these few weeks leading up to birth but I had to just trust the process. Finally at gestation age of 41 weeks and 3 days the OBGYN decided it was time for birth mom to be induced. That was a friday afternoon. It was Easter weekend, so Cody and I decided to go to the Good Friday service at our church that evening as we were told the induction could take a while. We didn’t get many updates, just that she was dilating very slowly and they didn’t anticipate much happening that evening. Katie let us know to get some rest and she will follow up with us in the morning. 

-----------------------------------------------

On Saturday March 30th....

We got a text about 8 in the morning from Katie saying birth mom went from 1 cm to 5 cm overnight but is still progressing slowly, and that doctors will increase the induction meds. At around 10am Katie let us know the mothers status still hadn’t changed and to take our time to get to the hospital. She suggested we get there in a few hours and will help check us into our own room and we can wait there until he is born. So we went out to breakfast but then decided to just head to the hospital early. Around 11:25am, as we were circling the parking lot, we got a call from Katie saying that she is pushing! That she went from 5cm to 10cm all the sudden and to get there fast!  We quickly found a parking spot, rushed to the second floor, checked in with the staff who walked us to our room #27. As we walked past room #26 to get to our room we heard a loud baby cry and Cody and I quickly locked eyes to say, is that him?! And sure enough, later we found out it was! Within about a minute of getting to our room the delivering doctors wheeled our sweet boy into the room. I believe we got to meet him 2-3 minutes after his declared birth time. 

He obviously already had his umbilical cord cut but the doctor still offered for one of us to cut it back to the normal length, which Cody got to do! We got to watch the doctor do her full newborn check/screen with him. She weighed him and said he is “7 pounds, 7 ounces…..that’s lucky number seven”.  But I immediately thought “no, it’s not luck, it’s God”. I remember being taught that the number 7 was considered a “holy” number. After looking it up on google I found more information on it saying that “the number 7 appears over 700 times in the bible and symbolizes perfection or completion”.  As soon as he was finished with his initial vitals, weight/height check he was placed on my chest, skin to skin. It was a beautiful experience, beyond words, for Cody and I to be soaking in the first few minutes of us as a family of 3. 

After a couple hours we were taken to a new room for the rest of our stay. He was very healthy, passed all his tests and had no concerns so we were cleared to go home 24 hours after birth. So on March 31st, 2024, Cody and I got to celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary and Easter Sunday by bringing our little boy home. 

                                         

                                         

                                         

Here is a sum of all the God moments that shine the brightest for us in this part of the story. I call these the stone moments. Just as God called the Israelites to carry with them stones of remembrance.  I carry these in my heart, and now here, to remember all that God has done. 

🌟 Miracle #1 - funded in 40 days. Plus more kept coming in through the tax credit and we also received a grant. Allowing us to take time off work and start a savings fund for Cade. 

🌟Miracle #2 — An incredible turn around time of 12 days to be matched, the shortest match ever for the agency! 

🌟Miracle #3 - We made it just in time to the hospital to be able to be there for him and meet him minutes after he was born

🌟Miracle #4 - The weight of 7lb, 7oz - not lucky 7’s but God’s perfection 

🌟Miracle #5 and #6- We got to bring him home on our 8th wedding anniversary which also "happened" to be Easter that year. Come to find out that it had been 8 years since Easter was last in March

🌟Miracle #7 - He was and is completely healthy 

I guarantee there are more than 7 miracles woven into this story but those are the ones that stick out to me the most, and solidify in my heart and mind there is no doubt that God has shown His favor towards us. 

One last little, but deep, piece of the story that gets me every time - is the location of his birth. 

In Jan 2023 I was in the same hospital to witness my sister hold her precious baby girl for the first time. It was truly the most beautiful thing I had seen. A mother who carried this sweet babe for 9 months, labored hard and tirelessly, meeting her daughter for the first time. I’ll never forget the tenderness and love that was shared in that moment between mother and daughter as they looked at one another. I was brought to tears of joy for them, but in the same moment my soul was crushed and I was overwhelmed with grief. I began to cry tears of deep sorrow. I had to step out of the room, out of the hospital, and weep. Because of the difficulty we had and the conversations I was having with my doctors at that time, plus recently turning down the idea of IVF, I truly believed I would never experience that intimate moment of mother and child. 

I don’t mean to be dramatic but I would say part of my heart died grieving that aspect of loss. Looking back I think God had me walk through it on purpose. It was one of my breaking moments that allowed me to be real with God, be angry with Him, while still clinging to Him because I knew He was still good and was my only hope. Little did I know that just over one year later I would be at the same hospital, probably just several doors down, getting to meet my son. Putting him on my chest and looking him in the eyes to tell him I was his mama, that I loved him.

It still brings tears of joy and gratitude just thinking about it. 

 

That is something only God can do. Out of all the hospitals he could have been born at, it was the same one where I felt crushed beyond belief and came to the conclusion it just wasn’t in the cards for us. Talk about redemption. Cade’s story is a story of redemption on so many levels, and I can’t stop thanking God for this beautiful gift.

We named Cade just for that reason. His middle name is Matthew which means “gift of God or Gift from Yahweh”.  He is perfect in so many ways. Even our adoption specialist was blown away by all the series of events. She told us we won the adoption lottery. They had never seen a match so quick, a baby so healthy and a super non complicated, easy going adoption. 

Which leaves me with........

     🌟 Miracle #8- God’s full circle redemption 

All I can say is all Glory to God. Cody and I didn’t do anything special, and we aren’t extra lucky people. We are just two people who have been doing our best to take one step at a time in following where God is leading us. Oftentimes not even knowing if we were going the right way.

---------------------------------------------

Cade has a very special story. We have gotten to meet both birth parents and think they are wonderful people. But the more we learn about their stories and how they got to the agency, the decision to place for adoption, how/when she found out she was pregnant, the timing of when she starting working with the adoption agency, all of it, it all shouts God’s sovereignty, His grace, His power, faithfulness and provision.   

For those that are curious, Cade’s adoption is technically considered open, although we have very little contact with birth parents at this time upon mutual agreement. We have nothing but love for them and everyone is on good terms. That’s just what has been decided for now. We are keeping their identity undisclosed at this time for everyone involved. 

---------------------------------------------

Before I end, I want to circle back to the beginning, when Cody and I were just discovering that I was likely to have fertility problems and it would be difficult to conceive. We were at a young adults bible study that my sister was leading in the living room of my parents house. We were going through a Bob Goff book. In one of the discussions it had us read a section in John 9. 

Jesus Heals a Man Born Blind

9 As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been blind from birth. 2 “Rabbi,” his disciples asked him, “why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents’ sins?”

3 “It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him. 

From the very start...

This is the verse that grabbed my heart and I knew that it was for us. I just didn’t know how, when, or what it meant exactly. But He was already giving me the why. From the start I was reassured that my inability to conceive wasn’t to be blamed on myself, my parents, or even Cody, but I was to hold onto this hope that Jesus would bring forth healing and that healing would ultimately show His power. He was letting me know He wanted to use us. That He had a plan for us.

I still think about the verse and how everything has played out with our fertility struggle and now our adoption, or should I say Cade’s adoption, story. I see God’s hand and power all over it and I can’t help but think that He has fulfilled His promise to me that He gave to me way back when. The healing just came in a different form than I imagined. Not going to lie, it wasn’t the easiest path to follow, with my lowest of lows being experienced there in the valley of infertility. But am I sure glad to have continued and gotten to the other side. All for his glory and that the power of God could be seen in us.

Being a mother and us getting to be parents has fulfilled such a deep deep longing in my heart. After so many years of being in the valley I finally feel like I am on the mountain top rejoicing. I never thought my heart could be healed of this pain and experience the dark cloak of infertility lifted. Even though I technically never gave birth, I feel as though I have. Even though I still am living with infertility and will likely never carry a child in my womb, experience a baby moving inside me, and physically birth a child, I no longer feel that I carry that burden. I thought I just needed to be pregnant and give birth to my child to feel complete, but now I understand that I don’t. I am honestly okay if I don’t get to ever experience that part of motherhood. Looking back it’s not being pregnant and giving birth that mattered most to me after all. I had several fears and assumptions about adoption that at times made it difficult to pursue, but boy, am I so glad that I stepped beyond the fears. Because if we had listened to them, we wouldn't have a sweet boy with us today and would have missed out on so much. I can finally look back and in a strange way and be thankful for the infertility. It brought us to Cade and I honestly can't imagine it another other way. It feels as thought this was always meant to be.

---------------------------------------------

A few months after Cade was born I got a tattoo to symbolize this time in my life. I decided to pick my favorite name of God, El Roi. I would argue that it probably is one most people don’t know about. Usually people know about El Shaddi, Jehovah, Jireh, Shalom, Elohim, Yahweh. But El Roi has always stood out to me, and now it has even more significance and direct impact in my life. It means “The God who sees me”. It is first mentioned in an old testament story in Genesis 16 about a woman who feels forgotten, an outcast, unseen. But God meets her and comes to her rescue and she says in verse 13 “You are the God who sees me’ [‘El Roi’ in Hebrew], “for she said, ‘Here I have seen the one who sees me!’”. It also makes me think of other stories in the bible with women that felt less than. Such as the women at the well or the women with constant bleeding.

 

In a time where I also felt like an outsider, that not many could relate or understand. On the days I felt the most alone or forgotten, I felt the simple embrace of God saying that He was with me. Yes, there were even days I didn't necessarily feel God with me but I had to trust the promise that He was because the Bible said so. It is part of who He is - He does not change His character. This name of God, El Roi, the God who sees, brings me great comfort. To know the King of King's doesn’t forget about me, He sees, He cares and is working all things out whether in the good or the bad, is something that resonated deep in my soul.

---------------------------------------------
 

Cody and I hardly post pictures of Cade. To be honest we are not sure how we feel about posting on social media for various safety/privacy reasons, but I felt like I wanted to share a few here for those that have followed and been a part of the process. I wanted to share this cuteness with you and show you what your prayers and support have done. He is such a happy and easy going little boy.

We are SO incredibly GRATEFUL for Cade. We have already done so much with him in these first six months and can’t wait to watch him continue to grow up.

Now we just have to wait for the state to legalize the adoption as we are still working towards and waiting for that to be completed. 

I hope you can find encouragement and hope in what I have shared. Whether it is directly in the realm of fertility or something completely different yet still painful and confusing, I pray that you find comfort in a God who sees you. You are not alone, don't give up! 

 I will leave you with the words of Jesus from John 16:33 "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

🧡🧡🧡